Archive for category Cancer

Soul Transformation

Sole Transformation

Andromeda from ShutterstockNothing in life remains the same,

how boring that would be.

Today I recollect the times

of cherished memories.


The good I’ll keep to steep in love,

the bad relinquish with grace.

For every thought and every deed,

helped me keep my pace.


I’m near the end of this journey now,

but don’t shed tears of sadness.

My life is full of love and light;

that’s how Heaven happens.


The only things that cross with me

are memories of my own.

I understand that I will meet

Souls who’ve touched me on this road.


I’ll meet my teachers and hold them dear

for lessons they’ve bestowed.

Some were painful, some full of love,

but all served to make me whole.


So many cherished people

made this journey long before,

and many ever after

shall follow on their own.


If I could leave some wisdom

it would be in simple form.

Love, and share love deeply

with every soul you meet.

For love grows exponentially, and plants abundant seed.


Loucinda Sullivan

October 18, 2015



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How Breast Cancer Changed My Political Views

shutterstock_316622207I was walking in a field, alone, when my footsteps began to feel lighter, and lighter until my feet were no longer touching the ground at all. I was trying to walk, but instead I was floating just inches above the ground. I woke myself up when I called out, “Mom?”

I was a life-long Republican, until one morning in 2011 set a wave of change in motion. I’d spent my life believing in the free enterprise system, believing that business is always good for the economy because it provides jobs for people, and that the people who run these big businesses have our best interest at heart, and value their employees by paying them well. In a perfect world, this might be true, but I’ve discovered otherwise.

March 2011

I woke up and found a red spot on my breast. I noticed it when drying off after my shower. Peering into the mirror, I rubbed over it, and did a breast exam. No lumps, I thought, I must have slept with my arm there, or something.shutterstock_296252540

The next morning the red spot was still there. Curious, I thought, as I dressed to go to work. My gut nagged at me off and on all day, so when I got home from work I went to the bathroom, removed my bra, and looked closely at the pink area about the size of my thumb.

I dressed, went straight to my laptop and typed in, “red spot on breast.” The information glaring at me from the screen was scary. The only two explanations that came up were mastitis, a breast infection seen in nursing mothers, and inflammatory breast cancer. Since I was fifty-six, and post menopausal, I knew it wasn’t mastitis.

I received the diagnosis on April 1, 2011. April Fools! You have breast cancer. I was standing in the reception area at work when I received the phone call from my doctor. I was dazed. There was no history of breast cancer in my family; this was something I thought could never happen to me.

I took the first appointment I could get at the local cancer center. The following week was a busy one. I had appointments for a port to be installed in a major vein near my heart to receive chemotherapy, an MRI, PET scan, and Chemo Class, where the nurse explained precautions I should take while in treatment.

shutterstock_318100451I’ve always been curious about why things happen, and breast cancer was no exception. I looked first at my diet, which I believed was fairly healthy, since I was a long-time vegetarian. But as I became an avid label reader I discovered all sorts of problems with our food supply. Sugar, which is said by some to be as addictive as cocaine, is generously added to many convenience foods. Flavor enhancers, preservatives, flavors both natural and unnatural, are added, as well as dyes and products that cannot be considered food at all. These additives preserve food for a longer shelf life, but they also make food addictive, thereby increasing sales, resulting in profits for happy shareholders. I believe this to be the root of obesity in our country.

How, I wondered, are these things allowed in our food supply? Further research showed that chemical and pesticide companies are leading the way in modifying the seeds of our food supply. But, that makes no sense. Why is that not a conflict of interest? Why is Monsanto, a company that produces pesticides, genetically modifying our vegetables, fruits, and even nuts? Don’t they realize that even if you rinse them off, watering makes the chemicals seep into the ground, and the veggies slurp it up. If pesticides are what they drink, then pesticides are what’re inside.

I found many articles on bullying techniques by Monsanto, arguments for why GMO’s are healthy, and safe, but also found that many other countries have banned GMO seeds. Then I found out about The Monsanto Protection Act, which was written into an unrelated Bill and approved by Congress. It’s premise is that even if GMO’s are later found to be unsafe, or unhealthy, Monsanto will be allowed to continue this practice. What??? If Monsanto is correct, and there is nothing for us to worry about, then why was The Monsanto Protection Act even necessary? And what is the problem with truth in labeling? To protect investments, and profits? What about the health of our society? In my opinion, Monsanto has a monopoly over our food supply. Isn’t that illegal? shutterstock_317619887

My research also uncovered a plethora of environmental causes of cancer. Toxic chemicals, invade our everyday lives. Toxins in our plastic food containers; did you know that canned foods are lined with BPA, and the foods are often cooked right in the cans? Would you add a scoop of BPA, or a block of plastic to a nice big pot of homemade soup? Of course not, but that’s what we’re eating when we open a can of food lined with BPA.

We breathe contaminated air, and eat meat and diary treated with growth hormones. Animals are raised in terrible conditions, and some farmed seafood is raised in virtual cesspools.  Fluoride, an industrial waste and neurotoxin, is added to our water supply:  Chemicals spill into our groundwater from fracking.

shutterstock_233515519The commercials paid for by gas and oil companies tell us they’ve been safely fracking for more than sixty years. But all anyone needs to do is search the Internet for fracking accidents and spills to find that they’ve been fracking a lot, but not safely. Search again for drilling sites close to the increasing number of earthquakes we’re seeing. Fracking involves taking a virtual jackhammer to the Earth’s crust, and injecting toxic chemicals that they don’t have to disclose into the Earth. These chemicals don’t stay buried in the ground; they end up in our water, and in our environment. And how many times would you take a jackhammer to the foundation of your home and still consider it structurally sound?

Toxic ingredients are added to makeup and body care products, too. It’s not hard to find a list of them:

What have we done to our planet, and its population? Is everyone at the Food and Drug Administration asleep? Where is the accountability? And why do we even buy these products?

I believe the answer is that we are just too busy in our lives to pay attention. We believe measures are in place to protect us from unsavory business practices. We’ve fallen asleep, we drank the kool-aid, and we’ve become apathetic. We take the word of others over the common sense in our guts.

Then I found out about some extraordinary research at the Cleveland Clinic. They’ve developed prevention for breast cancer. It’s been sitting, unfunded, for years! And the research is solid: 100% effective in preventing breast cancer in all three mouse-models. Even mice bred specifically to develop breast cancer failed to when given this vaccine. Further, mice that already had breast cancer saw tumor reduction when given the vaccine.

But sadly, a vaccine that prevents breast cancer would put the big pink charities, and many pharmaceutical companies, out of business. shutterstock_317735594They refused to fund this research. I was furious when I heard that. Only about twenty million dollars was needed to fund this research, and billions are raised each year. The difference between the “cures” we’re running around and throwing money at, and “prevention” is enormous. Prevention means never needing to spend the $300,000 billed to my insurance company to buy toxic chemo and radiation. Mastectomies would not need to rob us of our femininity, but most importantly, patients would not need to endure the life-long side effects of these treatments. Lives would be saved, families could be raised by their mothers.

The more I dug into these things, the more I found one common thread. Greed, and worship of the almighty dollar. Big businesses deemed too big to fail. Lobbyists throwing millions upon millions of dollars at campaigns geared to sway politicians. I found greed on both sides of the aisle, both democrats and republicans.

As I dug into some of these political platforms I discovered an enormous gap in what they stood for. It’s apparent to me that republicans stand for money, and a strong economy, and while there is nothing wrong with that, they also support businesses that export jobs, keep money in off shore accounts, and some even renouncing citizenship in order to avoid paying taxes. They protect the wealthy. Period.

But, most of us aren’t wealthy. Most of us are normal, middle class people trying to earn a decent living, and live a healthy life. Where is our representation?

At sixty-one, my cancer is metastatic. It’s in both of my lungs, in my bones, and the side effects of removing lymph nodes during my mastectomy is causing fluid to build up around both of my lungs, and my heart. It’s too late for me. I drank the kool-aid early on. Nothing I can do at this point will reverse this disease that is occurring more frequently in spite of the billions of dollars raised over decades to “cure” it.

But I learned some valuable lessons. I’ve learned that I should never assume that just because something is approved by the government means it’s safe. I’ve learned that some politicians advocate for a clean, healthy environment, and for the well being of all people, not just the wealthy, or corporations. I’ve learned that pink ribbons are a marketing tool used by companies and charity organizations to improve sales and profits. I’ve learned that it’s a travesty that we allow shareholders to become a part of our healthcare system, making healthcare unaffordable for so many. I’ve learned that it all simmers down to greed, and ego.

A society that champions clean air, a clean food supply, and shows compassion for people is the society I wish to leave behind. But, I understand, from the perspective of my own research, that the Republican Party will never champion these vital civil rights.

shutterstock_314269880Life on this planet is important. People are important. Not just a few of the people, all of the people.

I’ve concluded the free enterprise system will only work if devoid of greed and selfishness. Business is good for the economy only when there is accountability to the planet on which we dwell. The people who run big businesses may have had our best interest at heart at one time, but many have lost their way and identified success with an unlimited stream of money…for themselves.

Charity organizations need to have caps on salaries so that the funds raised are not just lining the pockets of the fortunate few who run them. And care must be taken that those who sit on their boards of directors are not there for financial gain because that’s a conflict of interest.

Our forefathers dreamed of a land of opportunity for all, not just a privileged few. So many injustices could be made right if only people, and not money, were our central concern. Thomas Jefferson called for a government by the people, for the people. We’ve irresponsibly morphed this into government of the people for the corporations. It’s shameful in my view, and I can no longer stand with those who would put profits before people, or withhold the truth.

Share love. Reject greed, and judgment. Embrace The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.

Our world is precious, our society to be valued, but never, ever should love of money overshadow our love of one another.

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WHAT IS PREVENTION? prevention |priˈvenCHən| verb the action of stopping something from happening or arising: crime prevention | the treatment and prevention of AIDS.

Wrapped up in Hope Photo from Shutterstock

Wrapped up in Hope
Photo from Shutterstock

You might have noticed October is Breast Cancer Awareness month. Again. I’m a survivor. I get it. I wouldn’t wish this disease, or its treatments, on anyone.

Like most everyone else who receives a breast cancer diagnosis, I hit the Internet and researched causes of cancer. I found a treasure trove of tips, herbs, exercise, and foods that can help prevent cancer. I found environmental toxins that are shockingly allowed into our food supply, our air, and our water. The list is enormous.

Surely others have done the same research. Why then, is breast cancer still so prevalent in our world? I have a theory.

Most current research indicates that every body has cancer cells, but in healthy individuals they remains dormant, kind of like the herpes simplex virus that causes fever blisters. That makes sense to me.

Next we have triggers. For example, I get fever blisters if I get stressed, dehydrated, or bump my lip. Those things, as well as a fever will cause fever blisters on my lip. Now let’s consider viruses, like the Human Papilloma virus. What if similarly, a virus causes breast cancer?

For me, that might go like this… Like everybody else, I already had cancer cells in my body. Then, as I went about life in our current environment I was introduced to triggers; chemicals in food, in cosmetics, BPA, additives, dyes, and the virus that we now suspect causes breast cancer. The list is very long; our environment is now full of cancer-causing agents.

At some point, I was exposed to the virus that causes breast cancer, and I reached a saturation point and my body’s ability to block the triggers from unleashing the cancer could not keep up. Now the virus is active and I have breast cancer.

Could this be why we can’t seem to get this disease under control? Could we be looking at it all wrong? Marching to the wrong drummer? Isn’t it time to change the conversation from awareness and cures, to preventing breast cancer? I’m weary of all the hype around awareness. I’m sick – quite literally – from the cures.

Isn’t it time to change the dialogue from cures to prevention?

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Pink Umbrella


A storm is brewing.

Its color is pink.

Its soldiers are many.

Its victims can’t think.

A storm is brewing.

It’s picking up speed.

But, it’s so far away.

It will never hurt me.

A storm is brewing.

It’s wickedly fierce.

Crushing its victims

Ignoring their tears.

A storm is brewing.

Are those ribbons I see?

Dancing and blowing

In the storm around me?

A storm is brewing

It threatens my life.

Those ribbons can’t help

Is it all just a lie?

A storm is brewing.

So you better take heed.

The storm knows no limits

And it profits from greed.

The storm reached crescendo

While we dressed up in pink.

Breast cancer can get you

Before you can blink.

Loucinda Sullivan

Survivor, Inflammatory Breast Cancer

Stage IV

In honor of the pinkest month on the calendar, I pledge 100% of net proceeds from the sale of my book, Hope, Inc. during October to Dr. Vincent Tuohy for clinical trials of The Pink Vaccine.

Hope, Inc. is a crime mystery about greed and jealousy in the breast cancer industry. Read and Enjoy!

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Summer is here at last, and it’s time to dust off the lawn chairs, grab a cold beverage, and take in some vitamin D while relaxing with a good book.

One of my favorite genres is crime mystery, and Hope, Inc. reveals a web greed, jealousy, and conspiracy. It’s a backdoor peek into a well-oiled money making machine preying on desperate victims.

Some comments from readers:

Gutsy story!

Thought provoking

Great action

Loved Dani Driscoll

More please!

HOPE INC cover finalIn cooperation with Goodreads  I’m giving away three copies of Hope Inc.

Hurry! This giveaway closes on June 30, 2014.

Click here to register. 


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The Square Foot Gardening Escapade

Sq Ft Gardening bookMy family probably thinks I’ve gone ‘round the bend, but after a close call with cancer I’ve done enough research to be appalled at the American food supply. I’m convinced the pesticide laden, genetically modified foods, pumped with growth hormones is unhealthy, and may actually contribute to a plethora of illnesses that plague Americans.

Salad with a side of pesticides, anyone? A glass of wine with hormone laden cheese?

No thank you.

Buying USDA certified organic food is expensive for most budgets. Who can afford to pay over $9.00 for a head of cauliflower? Yes, I recently looked at my grocery receipt and discovered I paid nine dollars for a single head of cauliflower! Yikes!

My husband and I enjoyed patio-home living. No grass to mow, no walks or driveways to shovel. It’s a great lifestyle, but it also means no digging up or occupying any part of the yard for a garden.

“Besides,” my husband said, “you’re a writer, not a farmer.”


Nevertheless, as if December wasn’t busy enough with Christmas, my son’s birthday, and our wedding anniversary, we decided to go house hunting.

A small ranch-style home with an equally small yard caught our attention. Small is the operative word here, but we reasoned, small also means manageable. We’re empty nesters, and I’m no longer interested in cleaning four bathrooms.

After some negotiation, we bought the house, which will have to last through retirement, because I am never–did you hear me–never moving again. Especially not in Colorado’s snowy, minus nine-degree winter. But, I digress.

SeedsWe went to the Colorado Garden and Home Show to take a break from unpacking. The displays were stunning.    One vendor offered a healthy supply of organic seeds, which I bought. Another merchant mentioned a book called Square Foot Gardening by Mel Bartholomew.

I bought the book and am enthralled with the idea!


The concept of square foot gardening is a revelation. If this pans out, I can:

  • Grow my vegetables in 20% of the space it would take for a traditional garden.
  • Use raised beds to save wear and tear on my back and knees.
  • Vary the sizes of my containers to make the yard and garden visually pleasing.
  • Use only 6” of a specialized light weight soil mix.
  • Eliminate fertilizers and pesticides.
  • Move the garden containers around the yard, if needed.

And the real kicker… Are you ready for this? No weeding! This is apparently because you don’t use weed-infested dirt from your yard. Instead, you mix three simple, lightweight ingredients, and put the mix in a container.

Someone re-invented the garden while I was busy reading Harry Potter books!

So, armed with my Square Foot Gardening book, a Farmer’s Almanac, The Western Garden book, and Your Backyard Herb Garden, I’m planning and plotting an organic backyard garden, square foot style.Gardening Books

Can I really grow carrots in six inches of soil that never needs weeding? I don’t know, but this is my spring and summer project and I’m about to find out.

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Hope, Inc. Chapter Two Sneak Peek

Hope, Inc.

Chapter Two – Sneak Peek

Wrapped up in Hope Photo from Shutterstock

Wrapped up in Hope
Photo from Shutterstock


Nolan’s cell phone rang just as he settled down at his computer. Before he could answer he heard Seth scramble to get out of his chair without falling. Shaking his head, he picked up the call. “Nolan Jennings. Oh yes, Ms. Davenport how are you? Good, good. Uh huh. Yes, a site visit can be arranged at your convenience. Perfect. I’ll see you in a few days. Thank you for your consideration. I will, I will. Have a nice day.”

“Yes!” Nolan pumped his fist in victory. “We’re at the top of the heap! Mona Davenport is coming to our little ol’ laboratory. She wants to do a site visit, and she’s bringing some members of her advisory board.”

All three of them burst into his office high-fiving, Amy jumped up and down, her long dark ponytail bouncing behind her.

“You’ll make history, Nolan.” Bridget’s eyes glistened with tears that hadn’t yet spilled over. “In the company of Salk and Pasteur.”

“Yes you will.” Seth nodded and smiled.

“Our team will make history,” Nolan emphasized. “It’s always our team. I couldn’t have done this without the three of you.”

Nolan beamed. His research was finally ready for prime time. Ready to test in human clinical trials, and if it worked in humans the way it worked in mice, it could save millions from a horrible disease.

Nolan buried his head in his hands in mock despair. “If we get funding I’ll have another truck load of paperwork to get permission from the FDA to test it.”

Amy patted his shoulder. “Awww, there’s always a down side, but it’s so worth it.”

A timer went off in the lab. “Back to work.” Bridget shoved on her glasses and headed toward the experiment she’d set up.

“And I need to get this morning’s data recorded in the database.” Amy turned gracefully on her heels and followed Bridget out the door.

Seth extended his hand to Nolan for their secret handshake, and nodded.

Nolan called his wife, Suzanne, to tell her the good news, took two big bites from his donut, and chugged half his coffee.

He never minded publishing and research–those were the gratifying aspects of his work. But, grant proposals also went with the territory, and even after eighteen years as an immunologist Nolan much preferred to be in his lab with his test tubes and mice.

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